To Read Reviews, or Not to Read Reviews?

As a first-time author, I find myself facing a question that I imagine a lot of new authors struggle with:

Do I read reviews about my book?

I'm sure in the long run it's healthy to look at reviews. See where you might have failed your readers. See what changes could improve future books. But by the same token, not all readers like the same book, and putting too much stock in criticism about a finished product could drive me insane.

Of course, I looked at reviews yesterday. A Lady Never Swears has been out less than a week, but I could not curb the impulse to look. I was overjoyed to see good reviews--and then brought low by a two star review with no explanation of the rating. Who rated it? Why? What did they not like? Would anyone like my book? Was I set up for failure? Did my hubris overshoot the reality of my writing style? Should I have drafted more before publishing? On and on and on, I questioned and wondered and doubted and whittled away into nothing but anxiety.

I'll say it: I'm insecure about my book. The first in the series, it is forced to carry a large weight that the other books won't have to shoulder. I had to introduce a series-long conflict, establish recurring characters, all while crafting a believable romance. Of the series, I believe it is the easiest book to dislike, and that's a terrifying thought for a first book. But at the same time, I love Aaron and Peyton. I love how they've grown from the first time I ever wrote them. I love that their romance takes a while to bloom, while others' will spark hot and quick.

Putting your craft out on display is terrifying, especially for literature where criticism is abundant. If I created a painting, I believe people who disliked it simply would not buy it but would not necessarily be driven to leave a bad review (but I'm not a painter, I could be wrong!). Books don't stand that way. People buy them not knowing what is inside, and if they do not like it they are driven to share that opinion, both to voice their grievances and to shield other readers from the experience. Goodness knows, I've left my share of two or three star reviews, but often amid a sea of four and five star reviews. My book does not have a plethora of reviews in one direction or another. And I am twisted into knots at the idea of my book being universally deemed bad.

So, all of this to say, reviewer comments make me anxious. I want to improve as a writer and story-teller, but I've also always kept my writing close to my chest, so I'm bound to take criticism more harshly than I ought. Two IG reviewers have agreed to review my book, and I am hugely grateful to them, but until I know their ratings I will be a mess. Maybe for future novels I will have more beta readers. Give myself a chance to take more feedback before throwing words out at the world. But no matter what, ratings will always make me anxious.

Just makes me human.

-C.W.