5 Reasons I Wouldn't Survive Regency England

While I get a lot of enjoyment out of writing regency romance, I can admit to myself that I would make an awful heroine of the time period. Much like Amanda Price in the TV mini series "Lost in Austen," I would have a terrible go at being a lady and trying to fit in. Here are some reasons why:

1) I can barely stand to wear a dress for several hours, let alone a whole day. Yes, I know if I were born in the 1800s I would be used to donning a dress on the daily, and at least they go down to the ankle so I don't have to worry about whether or not folks can see my underwear when I bend over, but I love the freedom of pants. Though, with the years-long torture of skinny jeans, at least I would be fine fitting into clothing far too tight for me.

2) I can be a bit of a conversational fire starter. And that's not even a title I've given myself--at Thanksgiving two years ago, one of our guests called me that. I don't like holding back my opinions or witty remarks, no matter the company around me. Being demure and biting my tongue simply would not happen. I'd be booted from regency society posthaste.

3) Side saddle? I think not. Listen, I love horseback riding. But if you want me to sit on the horse with my legs together on one side, then I guess we'll both be disappointed. It looks extremely difficult, and I would tragically die in a horseback riding accident like so many romance heroines' parents or old lovers.

4) Personal hygiene. Need I say more? While we historical romance writers like to pretend our characters have perfect hygiene, great teeth, and shaved legs, that is just not the case. Yes, shaving tools existed. Yes, people brushed their teeth. But regency standards were not nearly as high as today's standards. Besides, I have thin hair that has to get washed at least every other day. I would not do well with the intricate hairdos and long periods of unwashed hair.

5) Relying on others is not my forte. Capping off the list, I can say without embarrassment that I suck at relying on others, so finding myself financially, socially, and romantically at the mercy of my family would never fly. My father has to approve my beau? I think not. I have no financial independence? No, thank you. I can't move outside of my social circle? Hard pass.

All of this to say, if I were a lady I would absolutely tank my social season. I would be run out of the ton, the ridicule of London. But hey, at least I would get to dance a few fun quadrilles before it was over!

- C.W.